What is show don’t tell in story writing?
“Show don’t tell” is a fundamental principle in storytelling that encourages writers to use descriptive language, actions, dialogue and scenes to reveal information to the reader, rather than simply telling them outright. It emphasizes the importance of engaging the reader’s senses and imagination, allowing them to experience the story firsthand rather than being told what to think or feel.
Here’s a breakdown of what “show don’t tell” means:
Show: Instead of explicitly stating information or emotions, show them through vivid descriptions, actions, and sensory details. Show characters interacting with their environment, experiencing emotions, and responding to events in a way that allows readers to draw their own conclusions.
Don’t Tell: Avoid telling the reader what to think, feel, or believe directly. Instead of stating facts or summarizing events, allow the story to unfold naturally through scenes and dialogue. Trust the reader to infer meaning from the details and experiences presented in the narrative.
For example, consider the following scenarios:
Telling: “Samantha was nervous about her job interview.”
Showing: “Samantha’s palms sweated as she smoothed her wrinkled blouse for the tenth time. Her heart raced like a runaway train, and she struggled to control the tremble in her voice as she rehearsed her answers in the mirror.”
In the first example, the writer tells the reader that Samantha is nervous. In the second example, the writer shows Samantha’s nervousness through her physical reactions and behavior, allowing the reader to experience her anxiety firsthand.
By employing the “show don’t tell” technique, writers can create more immersive and engaging narratives that draw readers into the story world and allow them to experience the characters and events on a deeper level. It’s about trusting the reader to interpret and engage with the story, rather than spoon-feeding them information or emotions.
Best examples of show don’t tell in Christian literature
In Christian literature, this technique is often used to convey spiritual truths, moral lessons, and the inner workings of faith in a vivid and engaging manner.
Here are some examples of how “show don’t tell” is effectively utilized in Christian literature:
“The Pilgrim’s Progress” by John Bunyan: This allegorical novel follows the journey of Christian as he travels from the City of Destruction to the Celestial City. Through vivid descriptions of Christian’s encounters with various characters, obstacles, and landmarks along his pilgrimage, Bunyan illustrates profound spiritual truths and moral lessons. For example, instead of telling readers explicitly about the dangers of sin, Bunyan shows the consequences of sin through the character of Christian as he struggles with temptations and faces the consequences of his actions.
“Till We Have Faces” by C.S. Lewis: In this retelling of the myth of Cupid and Psyche, Lewis explores themes of love, faith, and redemption. Through the experiences of the main character, Orual, and her interactions with others, including the gods, Lewis reveals profound insights into the human condition and the nature of divine love. Rather than explicitly stating theological concepts, Lewis uses the characters’ actions, dialogue, and relationships to convey deeper spiritual truths.
“The Hiding Place” by Corrie ten Boom: This memoir recounts ten Boom’s experiences during the Holocaust, including her time in a concentration camp for hiding Jews. Through vivid descriptions of the horrors of war, the resilience of the human spirit, and the power of forgiveness, ten Boom demonstrates the transformative impact of faith in the face of adversity. Rather than telling readers about the importance of forgiveness, ten Boom shows its profound effects through her own actions and experiences.
“Redeeming Love” by Francine Rivers: In this historical romance novel set in the American West, Rivers explores themes of love, redemption, and grace. Through the characters’ interactions and experiences, including the protagonist’s journey from brokenness to healing, Rivers illustrates the transformative power of God’s unconditional love. Instead of explicitly stating theological truths, Rivers shows them through the characters’ relationships, emotions, and growth throughout the story.
“The Shack” by William P. Young: In this novel, Young explores questions of faith, suffering, and the nature of God through the experiences of the main character, Mackenzie Phillips. Through Mackenzie’s encounters with the Trinity personified as characters in the story, Young shows readers different aspects of God’s character and the complexities of human emotions and beliefs. Rather than telling readers what to believe, Young invites them to journey alongside Mackenzie as he wrestles with his faith and experiences profound encounters with God.
These examples demonstrate how “show don’t tell” can be effectively employed in Christian literature to convey spiritual truths, moral lessons, and the complexities of faith in a compelling and immersive manner. Through vivid descriptions, authentic dialogue, and relatable characters, authors can engage readers in meaningful exploration of Christian themes and ideas.
Training by: Dr. Muthoni Mercy Omukhango
Practical Examples: Fiction
Example 1: Nervousness
Flat paragraph (telling):
Amina was nervous before speaking on stage. She was very scared that she would forget her words. The audience made her uncomfortable, and she wanted to run away.
Enhanced paragraph (showing):
Amina stood behind the microphone and pressed her notes so tightly they bent at the corners. Her throat felt dry. When she looked up, rows of faces blurred together under the hall lights. She cleared her throat once, then again. “Good evening,” she began, her voice thinner than she expected.
Why it works:
You never say, Amina was nervous, yet the reader knows it.
Example 2: Anger
Flat paragraph (telling):
James was angry when he saw his brother had broken his bicycle. He felt upset and did not want to talk to anyone.
Enhanced paragraph (showing):
James froze beside the gate. The front wheel of his bicycle leaned sideways like a bent knee. He dropped his school bag onto the ground. “Who touched it?” he asked, his voice low and tight. His brother took one step backwards. James kicked a loose stone across the compound and stared at the twisted spokes.
Why it works:
Anger is stronger when students show reaction, voice, and movement.
Example 3: Joy
Flat paragraph (telling):
Miriam was happy when her father came home early. She loved spending time with him and felt excited.
Enhanced paragraph (showing):
The moment Miriam heard the gate creak, she flew from the sitting room. “Daddy!” she shouted, nearly slipping on the veranda. He had not even closed the car door before she threw her arms around his waist. “You came before dark!” she laughed, bouncing on her toes.
Why it works:
Joy often appears through speed, sound, and energy.
Example 4: Hunger
Flat paragraph (telling):
The boys were hungry after football. They wanted food badly and were tired.
Enhanced paragraph (showing):
The boys dragged themselves into the kitchen, dusty and breathless. One lifted a sufuria lid hopefully, then groaned when he found it empty. Another tore a piece of bread so fast that crumbs scattered across the table. “Is supper ready yet?” he asked with his mouth already full.
Why it works:
The reader is able to imagine in the scenes in his head.
Practical Examples: Non-Fiction
Example 1: A Christian-centred example
Flat paragraph (telling):
Naliaka trusted God during the hard season. She believed He would provide for her family.
Enhanced paragraph (showing):
Naliaka folded the last two notes in her purse and placed them on the table beside the unpaid shopping list. For a moment she stared at the blank wall, then reached for her Bible. Her finger rested on Matthew 6. She whispered the verse aloud, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, and rose to prepare tea for the children before they came in asking questions.
Why it works:
This helps students show faith in action, not only faith as a statement.
Example 2: Trusting God in lack
Flat paragraph:
We must trust God in difficult times. Even when we do not have enough, God is faithful and will provide for us. Christians should not fear but should keep believing.
Enhanced paragraph with show, don’t tell:
Trusting God in difficult times is not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it looks like a mother standing at her kitchen table with school fee balances in one hand and her Bible in the other. It looks like reading Matthew 6 before sunrise because anxiety woke her before the alarm. It looks like serving breakfast to her children with a calm voice, even though she does not yet know where the next answer will come from. By evening, she has not worked out every problem, but she has chosen not to let panic become her master. That, too, is faith. Faith is not only what we declare in church; it is what steadies our hands in the ordinary pressures of life.
Why this works:
Instead of merely saying trust God, the paragraph shows what trust looks like in daily life.
Example 3: Forgiveness in Christian living
Flat paragraph:
Forgiveness is important in the Christian life. If people hurt us, we should forgive them because God forgave us. Bitterness is bad and can destroy our hearts.
Enhanced paragraph with show, don’t tell:
Forgiveness is often tested long before it is preached. It is tested when a woman sees the name of the person who wounded her flash across her phone screen and feels her chest tighten. It is tested when she is tempted to retell the story in a way that keeps her pain fresh and her offender permanently guilty. It is tested in prayer, when she must decide whether she wants justice alone or the freedom that comes from releasing the debt into God’s hands. Forgiveness does not call evil good, and it does not pretend the wound was small. But it refuses to build a home inside the injury. It chooses, again and again, to let the cross speak louder than the offence.
Why this works:
The paragraph stays non-fiction and instructional, but it becomes more powerful because the reader can picture the struggle.
Practical Examples: Memoir
Example 1: Fear on the first day of school
Flat memoir paragraph:
On my first day of secondary school, I was very afraid. I did not know anyone, and I felt out of place. Everything seemed strange, and I wanted to go back home.
Enhanced memoir paragraph:
On my first day of secondary school, I stood at the school gate clutching my metal box so tightly that my fingers ached. Girls in neat uniforms moved in groups, laughing as though they had known each other forever. I looked down at my shoes, already dusty from the road, and wished my mother had not walked away so quickly. When the bell rang, my stomach tightened. I remember whispering to myself, “Lord, please help me,” before stepping into a place that did not yet feel like it had room for me.
What makes it memoir-like:
- It sounds personal and reflective
- It includes a small but real detail: the gate, the metal box, the dusty shoes
- It allows the reader to feel the fear without simply naming it
Example 2: Grief after losing a loved one
Flat memoir paragraph:
When my grandmother died, I was very sad. I missed her very much because she had always been kind to me. The house felt empty, and life became difficult for me.
Enhanced memoir paragraph:
After my grandmother died, the house became too quiet. Her wooden chair remained in its corner by the window, but no Bible rested on her lap and no soft humming came from that side of the room. For days, I kept expecting to hear her call my name the way she always did—slowly, warmly, as though it carried a blessing. One afternoon I opened her cupboard and the faint smell of her soap and old clothes rushed out at me. I closed the door quickly and sat on the floor beside it, my throat burning, unable to explain why the silence hurt more than noise ever could.
What makes it memoir-like:
- It uses memory details that feel true and intimate
- It shows grief through objects, silence, and reaction
- It reflects the emotional weight of loss without overexplaining it
Practical Examples: Children’s Books
Example 1: A child is afraid of the dark
Flat paragraph:
Timo was afraid of the dark. Every night he felt scared when the lights went off. He did not like being alone in his room.
Enhanced paragraph with show, don’t tell:
When Mama switched off the light, Timo pulled his blanket right up to his chin. The curtain fluttered near the window. A branch scratched the wall outside.
“Maama…” he whispered.
“Yes, Timo?”
“Can you leave the door open just a little?”
A thin line of light slipped in from the hallway, and Timo kept his eyes on it until his breathing slowed.
Why it works:
The paragraph never says, Timo was afraid, but the reader can feel it through his actions, the sounds, and his whisper.
Example 2: A girl is proud of her work
Flat paragraph:
Achieng was proud of the picture she had drawn. She had worked very hard on it and wanted everyone to see it.
Enhanced paragraph with show, don’t tell:
Achieng held up her drawing with both hands, careful not to bend the corners. Bright orange sunbeams stretched across the top of the page, and the little blue house stood exactly where she wanted it.
“Mummy, look!” she said, almost bouncing. “I even drew the flowers one by one.”
She smoothed the paper on the table, then called her brother from the doorway.
“Come and see this one. This is my best drawing yet.”
Why it works:
Her pride is shown through her care, excitement, words, and the attention she gives to the picture.
Getting Started: Publishing Books
Preparing to Write/Publish
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Elementary Skills: Publishing Books
How to Write
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Technical Skills: Publishing Books
Refining Your Manuscript
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Advanced Skills: Publishing Books
Going the Extra Mile
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Contractual Skills: Publishing Books
Be Informed (Not Legal Advice)
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